FutureChurch

Does criticising someone mean you don't like them? I grew up with this belief - that if I said something negative about someone (or their ideas or practice) it meant I didn't like them. I've often seen this with other South Africans: that (mostly) criticism is something that only happens behind someone's back and it usually equates to not liking the person either.

The gift of Americans to me is this: it's ok to criticise someone, to do it to their face and for that not to affect the relationship.

I first saw this a year before I started studying at Baptist Theological College in Joburg. There was a visiting speaker for the week (and BTC let me sit in): Michael Holt (and his apprentice Nathan Smith) from Reach Out Ministries in the States (I subsequently considered apprenticing with Michael for a year and also spent a weekend with him in his home in Asheville, North Carolina). Michael is a gifted speaker and was guiding us through a book, "How to speak to youth (and keep them awake at the same time)" by Ken Davis.

After Michael had trained us in the principles of public speaking, each of the students had to present a 5-minute talk to the rest of us. Once the talk was given, we the audience had to do something which was culturally foreign to us - and was, to be honest, uncomfortable.

We had to critique the talk...while the speaker was still in the room (!!!!!).

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