Tonight I'm sitting here and watching the news about the 2nd of 2 major earthquakes to devastate the Malaysian islands and Indian Ocean coastline. I am reminded about many Christian's comments; things like, "I think its God's act of judgment on the Muslims and Hindus on the Continent of Asia. Understand that I'm not saying that God isn't capable of doing that kind of thing... He often does in the scriptures, but when we have the attitude that God is out to punish the rest of the world and we are the ones who are able to sit and enjoy the favor of God no matter what we acting like. Its interesting to note that when God comes and brings His judgment on people in the scriptures it is always against His own people who are living in disobedience. I think we should be looking more at ourselves than anyone to discern God's judgment... but we don't. I didn't hearing anyone suggesting that 9\11 was God's judgment against evils and arrogance of Western Christianity. We place ourselves in a sick position when we suggest we are God's pals and the rest of the world is in trouble. Do we really believe in and fear the power of God? Maybe Christians should read their bibles more and find out what God is really like... just a thought!

I remember when I took the proposal to the guys in the BU to run a camp for young people of all denominations... the reaction I got was quite a shock. The over whelming response was, "How can we let our young people interact with others from different denominations, they will be deceived?" Deceived from what? Your traditional brand of the truth? Your idea of 'the way things should be done'? Your limited view of God... because heaven forbid that these young people are exposed to anyone else's view of God and able to broaden their understanding of Him. They may come back to you with new questions... questions, which your system, your form of truth is unable to answer. Freud was right: the church socializes its young people to only ask the questions that the church can answer. ThatÌs the difference between our form of truth and the Truth; the Truth remains the Truth no matter what the questions posed to it. Any incomplete form of the truth will be shown for just that with a simple, honest question. What would we do if our image of ourselves and our intellect were destroyed, what would we do if we were shown up as less-than-perfect in this modern age of flawless reason and models? That spells death... so lets create a flawless system and brand anyone a heretic who thinks or dares to question outside of it. Love Jesus, not the system. He is the way; Truth and light... stick to Him no matter what it costs you.

A Jewish man:

"I grew up in small town in Indiana. We were the only Jewish family surrounded by Christians. It was a terrible way to grow up. We were never accepted; we were always outsiders. The only contact beyond superficialities was when some of the fundamentalists would tell me I was going to hell; they hoped to convert me. Obviously, they had the opposite effect. I travel a lot, and wherever I go, it seems that Christians are creating in-groups and putting everyone else in out-groups. Of course the Holocaust is the most extreme example of that. ItÌs too bad really, because I've studied Jesus, and I think He was a great Jewish prophet, maybe the greatest who ever lived. But Christianity and Jesus don't seem to have too much in common, as far as I can see."

It always seemed strange to me that whenever I found someone else who was going through the same struggles and questions that I was going through I felt as if I wanted to cry with relief. There is a real in which you feel as if you are crazy; losing your mind when you are the only one questioning in a group of people who seem so sure of something. You keep wondering how people can place their hope and faith in a system that appears to have no integral substance. There have been times of great fear where I have pushed people in conversation to see what I am talking about so I would feel some of that relief but of course in reality they had no idea what I was saying. The fact is there is safety in numbers. I am less afraid of any path I walk if I see at least some walking the same road. There are just times when you need to know you aren't crazy and that there are those who hear you and who resonate with you. Many fears are quieted when you meet when you meet someone on the same road as you...

Aren't fundamentalists just people who have read the bible through a modern era lense and who have drawn conclusions, deductions and 'reasoned arguments' from a book that was never meant to be used in that fashion? The saddest part for these people is not this monumental mistake but rather that they are unwilling to even see that there may be another way to view the scriptures... and even God. These are people who brand thoe wo disagree with them 'liberals', and then in the same breath need to remind us about how terrible it is to be called a 'liberal'. As I recall Luther's view of the scriptures was considered liberal in the extreme! Palegius' views about the will of God and man were considered Liberal. In fact even Jesus was branded a liberal and a heretic for His views and practices as a God-fearing Jew!! So it seems that we 'liberals' are in good company. If a liberal is merely someone who keeps on questioning the status quo in an honest search for the Truth then I pray I am labeled as such until the day I die... no matter how that means the others perceive me.

How arrogant we are! I sat in the funeral of a dear man today and listened to Christians sit and discuss what is in store for eternity for this man? Does God know and love him? Did he pray the good ol' sinners prayer? Is he in the club? Are we really so sure of ourselves that we can classify all the other coinhabitants on the planet as 'others'? I suppose our 'brand' of Christianity is only useful if we convince ourselves, in good modernistic fashion, that we are right and everyone else is misguided and possibly even in danger of their salvation... but we'll decide that for God before the time 'cause we know Him so well!! Of the people who are honestly seeking God in their own way around the globe right now, eah in their own weird and wonderful way, what gives us the rite to think that we are the saved ones? Do we believe that our outward show of good 'evangelical westernism' will save us or do we really believe that Christ died for all that He is quite capable of deciding for Himself who has sought Him honestly and who has not. In fact if seeking the real God is an essential then those of us comfortable in our 'way of doing things' better check our hearts!!! Don't talk of the dead and where you think they are... shut up, and let God worry about that. Look at your own smug heart and do as much honest scrutiny in there as you are willing to do in everyone else around you!

Something I can't stomach in our day and age is that lies have become acceptable to Christians. Of course they would be outraged that I would suggest this, but its true. We have adopted the business practices of the modern which allow us to be Îpolitically correctÌ and say the things that make us look good instead of attempting to give an honest representation of the way things really are. This became very clear to me after my Interview for Ministerial Recognition last year. I was told that I was sabotaged by a pastor who considered me a threat to his conservative viewpoint. And so to justify the outcome three reasons were fabricated: 1)I haven't attended one church for a long enough period of time, 2)I have poor spiritual leadership qualities and 3)I am emotionally unstable. Now not to say that I am without problem or issues... in fact I often consider myself something of a messed up kid... but these reasons made no sense!

Its all about connection. Those moments of rich and vibrant life that pass between people. It can happen between anyone... all it takes is a step from one side... a show of vulnerability from one party. Most of us walk around extremely guarded to the outside world. We interact with people everyday but we never really see them. We go out to do the things we do and avoid having to say too much to anyone. This is the obvious price we have to pay for the Modernistic world we live in. We have become removed and forgotten that we were made for connection with any and all. A few hundred years ago we weren't plagued by the complex insecurities we are today and it would have been normal for people to interact with each other in a meaningful way. What is wrong with us? How far have we fallen? All we can do now is be the crazy ones... the ones who create those moments by being the first to display some level of vulnerability, some kind of warmth, reality and honest reaching. I want more of what we were meant to be and I intend to live my life trying to create that in my own life and hopefully seeing it spill into the lives of others. I've had enough of the shortfalls of modernity... its time to create something new. No doubt it will prove to be as flawed over time but at least its something for now.

Been reading Robbie Williams biography at the moment and I've been so struck by his 'otherness'. I think itÌs probably easy to create a more out there self when you are famous and people feel the need to keep you appeased. The juxtaposition between his stage self and his other self are startling! When he is on stage it appears that he is the self that he wishes he could be but then the second he steps off a welter of insecurities swarm him like some biblical locust plague. I'm not sure whether the fact that he doesn't seem to attempt to hide who he really is off stage is by design or default (he just doesn't know where to begin). What I do know is that he is in a better place than most of us. I am amazed how much I am drawn to this guyÌs life, and I know I not alone. His magnetism as a performer and as an individual is wrapped up closely in his ability to be honest and real about himself and his insecurities. Perhaps his game is just so elaborate he has duped me too.